Arranged Marriage

While my brother and I were backpacking through Vietnam, the first thing most people ask is if we are married. When they find out that we are siblings and that my younger brother is single, he gets all kind of marriage proposal. Some even offer money. I couldn't believe it at first, but as he got more offer, I realized they weren't kidding.

But this is not what I wanted to write about. I was actually thinking about my parents' marriage. I considered it an "arranged" marriage. My mother side of the family had money and my father side of the family needed it. Hard to think about, but my father was quite a catch in those days. Actually, he is still quite a catch today... but that's a whole different story. I never thought my parents were compatible. They fought constantly. I remembered them arguing all the time. And we didn't live with my grandmother like most people in Vietnam does. My father and his mother-in-law did not get along. My parents had an apartment not too far from my grandmother (mother's mother). When my father was in town, we stayed at the apartment. Otherwise, we stayed at my grandmother's house.

Later in my life, after we came to America, I found out that my father had another family. He had a mistress. I have never met her. I saw one of her picture and she was very attractive in her younger days. In the picture, the mistress lady had on a bikini. She had a very curvaceous figure and beautiful long eyelashes. Not to take anything away from my mother, but there was no competition. Together, they had a daughter. My mother told me that she did not know about the mistress until later, post-1975, when she got left behind.

How devastating is that! To be separated from your children and then to find out that your husband has another woman and there is a child involved. She didn't even get to confront my father about it. Not that I think she would confront my father about it. They were divided by a continent.

Today, my parents are divorced. My mother had to get a divorce before she was allowed passage to America. After all the red tapes, my mother and I were finally re-united in 1992. I was so glad to see her. We are getting to know each other better, everyday.